Spitting Koreans

Imagine a guy with eternally gaping fish lips kneeling before you, holding a diamond ring while looking like fish out of the water. His eyes are like those of a fish too: placed along the temples of the head, staring at you--with his fish mouth open, saying in the most romantic tone, "Ngo ngo ngongo ngo-ngo ngo, Ngo!"

That how I see Koreans sometimes. Asians with flawless skin, fine hair, weird teeth, and humungous calves. That perspective is the same as how Americans see Filipinos as small, brown, English-speaking monkeys wearing a horde of bling-blings. But if Filipinos are monkeys, Koreans to me are fish (Spitting Koreans sounds like a name of a fish that looks like an archerfish). Yep, men and women with fish heads, invading the country in schools for our schools. The diaspora is inspired of course by the willingness to learn English, Chinese's arch-nemesis in the Tongue War. Koreans are cool, I can't deny that. But I don't like that spitting-anywhere-I-want habit of theirs. It really messes up the image I have of them as as one of the top producers of film and TV shows in Asia (naaaah, I'm just being an absolute turd). God knows how many times I've watched My Sassy Girl. But, seriously, Koreans and sputa aren't really a great combination. Shanghai, China as seen in the graphic dealt with public spitting. I wonder when will Koreans do the same. It's part of their culture, yes and I cannot incriminate them for that. But if you're on foreign soil, you try to adapt right?

Yes, Koreans and phlegm form the greatest love affair. But PDA for them is probably the most sickening scene of all time. Filipinos, like any normal human being, spit. We might be spitting more frequently than the Koreans, but their's is on a totally different level. They spit anywhere, anytime, anyhow. How they do it? Here's how:

Altogether now: curl up that tongue, channel all your energy at the back of your uvula (you know that bell thingie that kinda tickles everytime you get an oral), and in a full, resounding chorus that can kill God's eardrums--everybody now, "HHHUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!"